Vote for Momma, the Rack, or get the Cain?

cards.jpgA year ago, just about any American would tell you that our next President was bound to be Democratic. With the Dems now splitting the votes like a toasted bagel down the middle, everything is still up in the air.

Our candidates for this race are what makes things spicy. Everyone who lives in Texas or Ohio has heard enough political ads over the last couple weeks to make you want to set fire to your flatscreen. But have you thought about how interesting the Top 3 really are?

Hillary: Is a vote for Hill like voting for Mom? Since Hill focuses on topics like health care and education, some people view her as a maternal figure. Personally, if Hillary is going to lead our country, I expect at least one batch of chocolate chip cookies sent to my house each week, along with encouraging notes packed into my sack lunch every day. That’s all I’m asking for, Hill.

Barack: While rumors of Barack’s religious and ethnic backgrounds swirl, I just love to focus on his name. There are so many clever campaign ads he could be running.
“Want out of Iraq? Turn to Barack.”
“Don’t wanna vote for Momma? Vote for Obama.”
And we could go on and on about the whole close relation of the names Obama and Osama.

Finally, John McCain: McCain is the only one of the candidates that I’ve actually seen in person. He was the guest speaker my sister’s Master’s graduation at the 2005 University of Oklahoma graduation, and instead of delivering an inspiring speech to the graduates, he spoke for an hour about politics. Thus, I am not a McCain fan.
I think David Letterman described McCain the best when he said: “He looks like the guy at the movies whose wife has to repeat everything… He looks like a guy who’s backed over his own mailbox… He looks like the guy at the supermarket who is confused by the automatic doors.”

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2 responses to “Vote for Momma, the Rack, or get the Cain?

  1. Where is the thing we were talking about? I thought you were going to put it up here. You know… the thing.

  2. Hey Lindsay,

    Don’t forget….

    “Join the Barack Attack!”

    “It’s Obama-Rama!”

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