“I’ve never known a love like this …
…to wait on you is better than a kiss.
And the finest wine cannot compare
…to the joy I feel just knowing you’re there.”
These are some lyrics from a beautiful song by one of my favorite new artists, Chaya. Those words are not directed towards any man I can touch and kiss; they’re not for someone whose eyes I can gaze into. But they are directed to the amazing God I’ve been serving for 10 years now.
Many people call themselves Christians, and I’m not one to judge what is a Christian and what isn’t. I just know that for me, as a 14-year-old girl on April 15, 1998, I really became a follower of Christ. I was crying my eyes out in my bedroom that night because I felt an overwhelming sense of emptiness and hopelessness. I felt like my life had no meaning, and I needed someone greater than myself to give it meaning.
I’m not a person who lives in shades of grey. I want to either walk completely in the light, or completely in darkness. As a 14-year-old, I imagined what my life would be like if I didn’t follow Christ. Maybe I’m just an extremist, but I really think I would be a very, very naughty girl. I would be a hopeless 24-year-old right now if it weren’t for Christ taking control of my life for the last 10 years.
So that night, with my pillow covered in mascara and snot, this teenage ball of emotions said, “Jesus, I surrender my life to You.” And every day since, I have given Him this life over and over. It’s a choice to daily surrender my life to Him instead of just using it to do whatever makes me happy.
I have made so many mistakes along the way. There have been days where I have screwed up and thought, said and done things that hurt the heart of God so much. But He is so merciful. The Bible says in Psalm 103.12: “As far as east is from west, so far has He taken our sins from us.” He forgives and forgets. He treats us like new creations after every time we genuinely say we’re sorry and choose to change.