Signs that a guy is going to hit on you

Ladies, let’s be real. We are nice to look at. Men cannot get enough of us. And the bold, the daring, yet sometimes far from debonair men are going to hit on us.

I’ve encountered a few of these “gentlemen” since moving to Houston. As I entered the post office yesterday, I realized I was about to stand in line behind one of these “I’m about to hit on you” guys. How did I know he was about to hit on me?

Here are a few telltale signs that a guy is about to hit on you:

1. The “I’m going to hit on you” guy is usually wearing some Louis Vuitton knockoff clothing and sunglasses.
2. The “I’m going to hit on you” guy gives away his intentions through his body language. He looks at you with one of two tactics. 1) If he’s all out clueless about women or just plain disrespectful, he’ll give you the full head-to-toe lookover. 2) If he does have a bit of a clue, he just stares deeply into your eyes until you stare back.
3. The “I’m going to hit on you” guy (at least in Houston) is almost always foreign.

So Abraham the Lebanese guy took the friendly approach at first. He struck up small talk about how long the line was, how hot it was outside, etc. But when it was time for him to make his move, he didn’t hesitate. I pointed out how pretty the new Virgin Islands stamps are, and he replied suavely, “Baby, you stick with me long enough, and I’ll take you there.”

Abraham, it is flattering to be hit on, and I’m sure someday you would take me to the Virgin Islands if I stuck around long enough (though I ran out of the post office as quickly as possible), but intelligence and good old fashioned chivalry are so much more attractive than flippant words and the knowledge that your eyes are traveling all over my body!

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2 responses to “Signs that a guy is going to hit on you

  1. Oh my gosh! Lol…that’s awesome…”stick with me long enough?” I hear those green cards have an expiration date…

  2. HEYYYY BABY!

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