Singleness = Selfishness?

Recently I’ve noticed that I’m not that there is a fine line between “young love” and, for lack of a better term, “not young love.” When two people are teenagers or even in their young twenties, there is usually a complete purity and selflesness that comes along with loving each other. This usually happens because the two people are each other’s first loves, or at least because they haven’t had enough difficult relationships to make them jaded.

I may be passing that point of young love. It seems the older I become, the more accustomed to living alone I get, and perhaps the more selfish I become. It takes daily deliberation to do things that will keep me unselfish — helping at kids’ church, buying a friend lunch, taking care of my cat. I was listening to “A Simple Kind of Life” by No Doubt the other day and I was struck by these lyrics:

All I wanted was a simple kind of life.

All I needed was a simple man so I could be his wife.

The more I wait,

The more I selfish I that I get.

Why are so many men afraid of marriage? Maybe because they’re afraid to give up a piece of themselves — they’re afraid of compromising what they want and occasionally giving someone else their way. But just like Christianity, marriage is about laying down a part of ourselves, and eventually finding something better than what we originally laid down.

I know that singleness does not equal selflishness. I’m choosing to see it as an opportunity to reach out to others that I may not have time to when I’m married someday.

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One response to “Singleness = Selfishness?

  1. Honestly, I wish I would have stayed single longer so I could have taken more opportunities to be selfish. I got married so soon after school that I didn’t get to have my own life.

    Shh… don’t tell him I said that….

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