How Does A Christian Date Righteously?

This past Sunday, I had the joy of hearing my former pastor in Tulsa, Willie George (a.k.a. Gospel Bill). He spoke on a topic that all of us need to hear (yes, even engaged people!)– how to date righteously! It was probably the best message I’ve ever heard about dating, so I felt compelled to post the notes. Please take time to read and process them!

Church on the Move
– 1/17/10
Willie George

“How Does a Christian Date Righteously?”

There are 2 dangers in singeleness:
1. Independence
2. Interdependence – when you can’t function without being in a relationship

Before getting into a relationship, you need to consider:
1. How is your relationship with Christ?
2. Where do your values (yours and his/hers) come from?
3. Are you sensitive to the counsel of Godly friends?

-Marriage is primarily about holiness, not happiness. (Colossians 2:10)

16 Christian dating principles:
1. Maximize your singleness for God.
2. Don’t pursue a serious relationship until you’re ready to get married.
3. Be reasonable in your expectations.
4. Don’t be legalistic about dating. –Don’t quibble about words like “date,” “courtship,” etc.
5. Don’t have a romantic relationship with an unbeliever.
6. Only be in a relationship with 1 person at a time.
7. He should initiate; she should respond.
8. Look at who God puts in front of you!
9. Use technology wisely! (internet dating, etc.)
10. Invest in a romantic relationship only with someone you’re entirely attracted to.
11. Only date someone who agrees with you on the major theological issues.
12. Guard your heart. Don’t commit quickly.
13. Be careful of legalism (not letting people in on a 1-on-1 basis) and libertanism (thinking every relationship will lead to courtship).
14. Marry someone who will be a good fit for every season of life you are in.
15. Pursue only someone you genuinely love.
16. Do not have sexual contact until you’re married.

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3 responses to “How Does A Christian Date Righteously?

  1. I really, really enjoyed reading your post! As someone who is in a Christian relationship, I can appreciate many of your dating principles and dangers of singleness.

    Thanks so much for your insight!

  2. Your 16 dating principles raise some questions which I will list below.

    #5 & #8 are not mutually exclusive and may be contradictory. God may very well put unbelievers in front of you.

    #10 has the qualifier, “you are entirely attracted to.” Yet, it is not clear exactly what is meant by being ENTIRELY attracted to.

    #14 nice in theory, but impossible to know the future.

    #15 Pursue only someone you genuinely love seems to contradict #7 which says that the woman should respond. How does the woman pursue?

    And I would add a #15 (a) which would read. “Pursue someone who genuinely loves you.”

    Finally, there needs to be a “spark.” The woman needs to “rock” the guy’s world, and everything esle will mostly fall into its proper place.

  3. Came across this blog today. I also attend COTM and was there for that service. It really helped me understand what a Godly relationship should be like. I really enjoyed Willie’s words of Wisdom. I’m old fashion so this sermon confirmed that old ways are just the best way to go when it comes to relationships and marriage.

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