Tag Archives: engagement

Preparing For a Marriage, Not Just a Wedding

In 28 short days, I will no longer be “Goods for Life.” I will be “Morris for Life.” Til death do us part; for better or for worse!

I would say the fact that Devon and I are really, truly getting married in less than a month has hit home in the last couple days. We won’t just be engaged; we’ll be married! I’ve realized some areas I need to work on in my relationship with him in order to build a strong foundation, and I’ve been really working on those. In the midst of the excitement of engagement, sometimes I get carried away in preparing for the things that aren’t going to last a lifetime: like the candle centerpieces, or the hairstyle I’m going to have, or the reception music.

Don’t get me wrong: Planning a wedding is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, and we definitely want our wedding day to be special. We desire it to be a reflection of the love God has given us for each other and to build His Kingdom. But if we’re not careful, we’ll fall into the trap that so many engaged couples do: prepping for the wedding, not the lifelong marriage.

While having a long-distance engagement has definitely had its down side (missing each other beyond expression every day), one advantage has been that we’ve taken time to go through a few books together via the phone or Skype. I thought I’d share a few of them for any engaged couples out there looking to prepare beyond the wedding.

Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts – We went through this workbook that has about 25 different exercises specialized for men and women. It walks you through everything from talking about your family background, your future desires, sex myths, financial planning, and more. It’s been great to help us start communicating about those issues!

Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus – Even though we haven’t quite finished this one yet, we’ve gotten a lot out of it. It gives a lot of great analogies, like how men need to go to their “cave” to think and recover, while women like to talk through their problems.

The Five Love Languages – I know this is one of the most popular relationship books of all time, and rightly so. We read this at the beginning of our relationship, and learned the importance of keeping each other’s “love tank” full by expressing love in the way the other person needs it (not just in the way I need it!)

There are so many great books out there on relationships, and if you have any recommendations on what we should read, let me know! We’re trying to do all we can to build a solid foundation for a God-honoring relationship.