Tag Archives: relationships

How Does A Christian Date Righteously?

This past Sunday, I had the joy of hearing my former pastor in Tulsa, Willie George (a.k.a. Gospel Bill). He spoke on a topic that all of us need to hear (yes, even engaged people!)– how to date righteously! It was probably the best message I’ve ever heard about dating, so I felt compelled to post the notes. Please take time to read and process them!

Church on the Move
– 1/17/10
Willie George

“How Does a Christian Date Righteously?”

There are 2 dangers in singeleness:
1. Independence
2. Interdependence – when you can’t function without being in a relationship

Before getting into a relationship, you need to consider:
1. How is your relationship with Christ?
2. Where do your values (yours and his/hers) come from?
3. Are you sensitive to the counsel of Godly friends?

-Marriage is primarily about holiness, not happiness. (Colossians 2:10)

16 Christian dating principles:
1. Maximize your singleness for God.
2. Don’t pursue a serious relationship until you’re ready to get married.
3. Be reasonable in your expectations.
4. Don’t be legalistic about dating. –Don’t quibble about words like “date,” “courtship,” etc.
5. Don’t have a romantic relationship with an unbeliever.
6. Only be in a relationship with 1 person at a time.
7. He should initiate; she should respond.
8. Look at who God puts in front of you!
9. Use technology wisely! (internet dating, etc.)
10. Invest in a romantic relationship only with someone you’re entirely attracted to.
11. Only date someone who agrees with you on the major theological issues.
12. Guard your heart. Don’t commit quickly.
13. Be careful of legalism (not letting people in on a 1-on-1 basis) and libertanism (thinking every relationship will lead to courtship).
14. Marry someone who will be a good fit for every season of life you are in.
15. Pursue only someone you genuinely love.
16. Do not have sexual contact until you’re married.

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I’m Not Crazy…I’m Just In My Twenties

Is anyone else with me here? The twenties are a crazy time in life, as everyone says, a time of “discovery.” But when you’re a young woman, and you are not only trying to find your identity, but also trying to figure out if any of these crazy guys running around in your life is tied to your future, things can become quite complicated.

To put things bluntly and perhaps to be a bit cliché, I have lost my identity several times over the last few years. I have been swept off my feet by charming men far too many times (one would be too many, in my opinion), and have found myself re-shaping my future to fit into their futures. Instead of relentlessly pursuing my passions in missions, kids’ ministry, and foreign languages, I have accepted decent jobs in journalism that were accommodating to the men I imagined to be my future husbands (I am not a polygamist; you know what I mean).

But recently I have experienced a great awakening. Now four years out of college, God has reminded me of what I imagined myself to be doing before I left the safe haven of ORU: Ministering to kids in foreign countries, or maybe writing kids’ books here in the U.S. And while I’m thankful for the job I have now, I am allowing myself to dream bigger than I ever have before. Like Pastor Joel Osteen says, It’s not time to retire those dreams; it’s time to refire.

So instead of allowing other people to choose my destiny, I am taking control and trusting God, asking Him to lead me more clearly than ever before. And while I’m not expecting it to happen anytime soon, I know that as I travel on the path that God has for me instead of just trailing some guy in his path, God will bring me someone who is crazy for God and me, and vice versa.